"I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.My next crap could spell disaster.Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring and farting ... so, at least I got home OK.The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport."Nationality?" asks the immigration officer."German," she replies."Occupation?"No, just here for a few days."As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams:"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters,"Too late, mate, the paperwork's already done."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to. "What do you mean by merge our families?" Bob asked."I'm talking about buying a large place where we'd all live after selling both of our houses," explained Tom."Why would we do that?" Bob countered."Our families are so close, we're always visiting one or the other's houses, it just makes sense. Buying in bulk would also save us both some money," Tom coaxed."Any other considerations?" mused Bob."Well, there is the variety of sex partners that would give everyone," admitted Tom."That, in itself, is one of the best reasons to merge our families," agreed Bob."Then you're onboard with the idea?" Tom asked."Not fully. I need to talk to Millie and the girls before I commit," stated Bob.Tom thought, "Done deal" before saying, "Let me know how they feel about it and I'll start looking for a place." Sounds good," Bob confirmed.The rest of the day was spent with various pairings of parents with teens for sex and general conversation. After Tom and Cindy went home, Bob asked Millie what she.
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